15 Funny Types of Salespeople

There have been so many articles written about sales development representatives (SDRs): what skills they have to acquire, what practices they should adopt, how they should act during cold calls, which strategy they should choose for social media communication, and how to overcome their fear of rejection, achieve quotas, double sales, and avoid burnout. Of course, all these topics are crucial for an experienced salesperson to be aware of. But is work only about work?

The reality of being an SDR isn’t all quotas and revenues. It's about chit-chatting next to the watercooler with friends, sharing sales memes with colleagues, saving funny emails to a desktop folder, organizing after-work happy hours, merging your personal life with a crazy schedule of an SDR in Kyiv working California hours, and just being your true self!

As CIENCE is turning six years this month, we are ready to share what’s happening behind the curtain of our office and finally reveal the true identity of these people who send you emails and voice messages. Check out the types of SDRs who roam around our office. And if you are an SDR, try to figure out your colleagues’ types!

15 Hilarious Types of SDRs Inspired by the Animal World

1. Mr(s). Crunchy

Source: Red Book Magazine

This person's bag is always stuffed with snacks. They can’t spend a single hour of the shift without getting up for a cup of coffee. They never miss Tuesday pizza parties or Friday bagels. Food is what keeps them coming to the office ... even on their days off.

2. The New Kid

Source: Red Book Magazine

This guy is new in sales. Words like qualified appointment, gatekeeper, value proposition are still giving him anxiety and headache. But that’s just for now. The main thing is to stay confident, overcome the call reluctance syndrome, and keep trying to reach out to prospects. You can’t call yourself a true salesperson if you haven’t closed your first deal yet!

3. The Teacher

Source: Insider

The Teacher’s job in the office ecosystem is to take the New Kid under their wing. The Teacher is a responsible, knowledgeable, and very experienced SDR. They know how to achieve sales quotas and transform that clumsy newbie into a professional salesperson. The Teacher has to do a double amount of work, always being ready to help out the New Kid.

4. The Fun Crowd

Source: Forbes

These guys are all about having a good time! Did someone substitute all the sugar in the office with salt? Bought a decaf coffee? Taped a stapler to the bottom of the desk? You can be sure that the fun crowd is responsible for that. They are the ones to lighten up that office meeting with a joke. They are the first to be invited to the party—that is if they haven’t started it themselves. Their sense of humor and creativity have won them a dozen new clients and the admiration of their colleagues.

5. The Sales Tiger

Source: Red Book Magazine

This person is cute and sweet outside of the office but turns into a tiger during sales calls. This means setting the record for the fastest sale in the office's history or running the extra mile when needing to close that deal. Never giving up on a qualified prospect, the Sales Tiger is the master of follow-ups with a conversion rate to prove it!

6. The Don’t-Talk-to-Me-in-the-Morning Person

Source: Red Book Magazine

Better to avoid having conversations with these guys before their first cup of morning coffee. Their body consists of 80% caffeine and their sales call skills are 100% stronger later in the day. They know exactly the right time to call and don’t mind staying up late to reach out to the prospect at the right time.

7. The Gossip Girls

Source: Red Book Magazine

Always together and never silent, these besties know everything about everyone. They use social media platforms religiously: TikTok, Clubhouse, Twitter, Instagram—they are active superstars everywhere. Their social media skills have made them professionals at researching and prospecting. When other SDRs need help with writing personalized messages, these girls are there to help.

8. Most Stylish

Source: Red Book Magazine

These are the office fashionistas—the stylish standouts who always rock the best outfits and haircuts. Polished head to toe, they’d never be spotted in a T-shirt or old jeans. They have some of the lowest churn rates, with the charismatic ability to keep clients coming back over and over again.

9. The Rule Breaker

Source: Forbes

They always know which laws they can break, and which ones they should follow. Ordinarily, they play by the rules. But when it comes to sales, they’ll sometimes make an exception. They don’t mind going off the script to catch that special prospect. But they know how to write the perfect cold-calling scripts and cold-email templates to get that person’s attention.

10. The Sage

Source: Reddit

This person always knows how to close the most complicated deal and how to handle the most tricky objections. The sage has the answers to the most complicated questions and is ready to solve the hardest issues. Sages prefer to stay silent and get involved in the conversations only on the rarest occasions. Be aware: They can come off as abrasive when spotted in a bad mood. Approach only in case of emergencies!

11. The Master of Hiding

Source: Forbes

These SDRs may try their best to offload a complicated prospect onto an unwitting coworker. For them, avoiding the problem is solving the problem. But sooner or later, they’ll just have to grin and bear it.

12. The Late-Night Raver

Source: Forbes

Late-nite ravers are the ones who have the potential to be late for shifts, especially on Mondays. They feel like there's no reason to hurry; they enjoy moving to the rhythm of their own techno beat. Also, ravers may be the only salespeople who don’t hate appointment no-shows … because they might just be the ones tardy to the meeting!

13. The Chill Dude

Source: Red Book Magazine

This person has reached the highest zen in life. Nothing can shake their confidence or ruin their life routine. Even if the whole office is on fire, this person will simply keep talking with the client over the phone. Their calmness is what makes them so good at sales. They simply do their job, despite everything. And their teammates respect them for that.

14. The Tech Savage

Source: My Modernment

When headphones don’t work, Zoom calls don’t connect, phone numbers aren’t dialing, and emails bounce back, the Tech Savage is there to solve the problem. There is nothing this person can’t fix. Why even wait for help from tech support if you have someone on your team who can easily make programs work? Without this person, the entire office would probably fall apart.

15. The Interrogator

Source: Reader’s Digest

It is impossible to trick this SDR. They have eyes in the back of their heads and can read your thoughts without you ever saying a single word. They can easily chat up the coldest lead and figure out what needs their businesses have. That is why interrogators are irreplaceable during the qualification calls.

Which Type of SDR Do You Belong To?

Can you identify what category you belong to? Or maybe your colleagues? Let us know what type of SDR you are! Let’s find out which ones are the most common!

Disclaimer: All SDR types, stories, and characters in these descriptions are made up and may or may not exist in your organization. Any resemblance with real people and animals is completely coincidental.